30's Not So Bad

So I've been absolutely dreading turning 30, which will be happening in exactly 11 days, 4 hours and 10 minutes. I loved my 20's, I felt grown up but still young. I think of how fast 30 years went, how fast the next 30 will, then I think of 60 and that just bugs the jeebies out of me, sincerely. The concept of aging frightens me, it always has, and I'm feeling it more on a realistic level now that I'm staring down the barrel at the three zero.


That was until today. At church.


We are there a few minutes late and naturally, our usual spot was taken. We found a seat a few rows back and settled in. I grabbed a hymnal to find the first song and something was sticking out the back part of the book. I pulled it out to inspect. It's a funeral program from the day before. There was an eloquent summary of the departed's journey that basically spoke to how his fight had ended. It sounded like he may have been sick for a while. When I looked at his photo my heart stopped. Then I saw the from when to when. He had only just turned 29 in December.


I believe that God speaks to each of us all in different ways, some of us hear, some of us don't. But I believe He speaks to me, and it often comes in the form of something relevant to my current life, just something random, something otherwise unremarkable, that takes my breath away or stops me in my tracks. I can't really put it in words, but it's something that speaks to me and I just know it's meant for me. I believe it was meant to be that we were late today, that out of 200-some odd hymnals in the whole place I pick that one up and see the funeral program of a young man only 11 months younger than I, has passed on to the Church Triumphant.


It was like someone threw ice cold water on my face and woke me up. He will not get to celebrate 30 years of life with his family, his friends. It's terribly tragic, from the picture I could tell he was someone who was a joy to be around, happy and funny and sweet. He no doubt fought what ever it was he dealt with. He was loved by many, many who are sad and would give anything for him to still be there, to enjoy his last year in his 20's. 


It hit too close to home and while it made me terribly sad it gave me a great deal of perspective. Here I am moping around about aging while I'm still blessed to actually be doing so! I'm no longer dreading 30. While I'm still not thrilled about it, I'm not going to be bummed about it anymore. I'm so happy to still be alive and that I still get to at least try to make the most of each day that I am.